I hope you enjoy, but, more than that, I hope you create your own. It just might be ever so slightly therapeutic and just what you need.
Hey, girl. I know you feel so awkward right now--your hair is unruly and your body feels too chubby to be yours and your voice doesn't like to show herself too often--but I promise, oh how I promise, IT GETS BETTER.
I wish you knew that in a couple years you'll fall in love the way they do in the books you so hungrily read, that you won't have to be stuck with unrequited crushes and imaginary boyfriends (although...Harry Potter, you will always be in my heart, no matter how old I get). You'll meet someone who will love the unruly hair and the un-make-up-ed face and the body that doesn't have abs and the heart that writes love letters and makes homemade gifts. Please know that you don't have to change for him--you don't have to starve yourself or work your body to death, just to be "pretty" and "small". He says he loves you no matter your size, and he fell in love with you at your heaviest, so you can know he's not lying.
I wish you knew that you don't have to hurt yourself. I wish you knew that no matter how worthless or fucked up you think you are, you couldn't be farther from the truth. Everything you do and are, every beautiful mess that you make, is to create who you will become and there's no shame in that. It'll hurt--so much will hurt--but if it didn't, how would you know what true happiness is? How could you appreciate the beauty of life, if you didn't have to experience the ugliness of it sometimes, too? You will fall and you will fall really fucking hard, but soon you'll meet a movie called Garden State and it'll change your life and you'll download the soundtrack and you'll understand that yes, Frou Frou was right when she tells you "There is beauty in the breakdown".
Please know that your self-worth has nothing to do with how thin or not you are. Your self-worth isn't tied to popularity or how many likes you have on Facebook. Happiness is SO possible, if you'll just seek it out every day. Let go of the little shit, don't be so uptight, love yourself and love others and hang in there, baby cakes.
Like I said, it gets better, but it's always going to be good, if you choose it.
the Confetti Monster